Patchwork Pillow
Posted in Bed Comforter Sets on 05/18/2009 01:34 am by admin
My Friends Dislike My Poetry…?
My friends dislike my poetry saying it is hard to read, it has no structure and has no rhythm. This is a poem I showed them called “She” which I wrote which they disliked…Should I just give up poetry..?
She has a blue bed sheet for an ocean
Encroached by a duvet we call land
Spoilt by the sloth of humanity
Who awakens to a cerulean sight
She spins through the abyss
Encompassed by a giant fish
Whose cries I can hear
On a cloudless dreamy day.
She obeys the laws better than us
Traveling through the void
Her tides are at our feet
Her cold air behind our ears.
She has lands that are patchwork
A quilt of many colours
Dark forests like curtains at night
Hills like upright pillows.
She is the pearl of our system
And has existed before our birth
She is abundant with life
Her name is called earth.
Poetry needn’t have structure nor rhythm. Content, images and metaphors can be equally important. Rhythm is *mostly* used to add “unity” or “flow” to a poem. And this poem already has unity and flow. The rhythm and structure in this poem is like correct spelling in a text: if you don’t notice it, you know it is done correctly. Rhythm can be unusual and exciting, but it needn’t be.
Your poetry was perfectly clear to read. I don’t like poetry that is either overly simple or overly complex, and yours is somewhere in the middle. It is clear and cannot be misunderstood.
I thought that the first and the third stanza were particularly good. I thought this was about a woman, and I was really impressed by the Mother Earth imagery. So when I realized that she was the subject, I was a bit disappointed :p But you obviously have a way with words. Keep writing about stuff you find interesting 
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50 INDIAN PILLOW THROW CASE PATCHWORK EMBROIDERY CUSHION COVER WHOLESALE LOT 16″ $425.00 |
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